Jornal de FLOWERDUDE, 14 jan 11

Big ol' Kiwi hugs for you!!! Vent in here if you need to.  

Steve, I too am here for you. Whenever or whatever you need. Sending warm thoughts and prayers.  

thanks.. peeps... FS is my only place I can put it out there.. .too many relatives and customers on FB... is my disfunction showing? 

Oh my goodness Steve. I think we are in the same boat. Certain family members have been expecting us to help support them and I actually had to "borrow" money to send. With as much as we have helped this past year we are going to be in the poor house while they are living it in grand fashion. 

mine is anxiety and fear about my ex and her "opinions" on and "counsel" concerning our kids...the kids are with me full time... and she pays no child support. and yet can make me feel like dogshee shee... i just hate that about me. I need to re-grow a pair..since she clearly got them along time ago. 

FD, it is so difficult to be hard where kids are concerned...you are obviously the more responsible parent, since you worry about alienating them. But that being said, perhaps it is time to tell her to butt out...that when she begins to take more financial responsibility, she can have more say so in how you deal with the kiddos. Hard I know, but the one thing that you know in your heart is that you are doing a darned good job and doing what you know is best for your kids. I am still praying Steve...hang in there, it will get better, and there is no reason to feel like dogshee shee...you are a good dad and it shows in the smiles I see on your kid's faces when they are near you! hugs!! As for growing a pair, it is always hard for those of us who are sensitive to be hard or nasty with others. We hate confrontation and tend to put ourselves in other's shoes and therefore have a hard time being "mean". Too bad the ones we always worry about "hurting the feelings" of, aren't as nice, eh??? 

Steve, you have been the parent all this time. You stepped up when most men would have gone a running. You X and my X sound a lot alike. He always wanted to stir things up and get me all flustered. And yet he was a deadbeat that I just couldn't shake off. And I have to disagree about the regrowing things. You are no less a man because you don't fight back. If anthing - you are more of a man for not falling back into her fighting ways. You are a strong, supportive, loving father. She has nothing on you. And no matter what she thinks of you, we all know differently. 

thank you... silly thing is... she hasn't done anything.. .it is the f'in fear of it. I am just aching weepy over it... thanks for letting me "leak" a little here.. Ctlss.. you hit the nail on the head.. " it is always hard for those of us who are sensitive to be hard or nasty with others. We hate confrontation and tend to put ourselves in other's shoes and therefore have a hard time being "mean" Keli.."You are a strong, supportive, loving father. She has nothing on you. And no matter what she thinks of you, we all know differently." If I could just stand on that... but the voices in my head can get so loud sometimes. (whine) 

Oh, Steve, those voices....wouldn't you just love to duct tape their lousy moths shut??? I have the same ones in my head and it is so hard to ignore them sometimes. As for leaking, we all leak from time to time, it is our bodies way of lessening the pressure build up, before we EXPLODE!!!!! {{{HUGS}}} and love you bunches of roses, our flowerdude! 

ya.lll stevie did some retail therapy...and I am posting a new journal entry... OMG! 

Glad this string was theraputic for you and lead to some good retail therapy. You ARE a great dad and we all know it, so whenever you are hearing those voices of doubt as a result of the X, you come right here and we will lift you up! Wish there were more dads out there like you who step up to their responsibilities.  

FD..a touch of humor for you. Please thumb in mouth and blow. Did your pair pop back out? :D 

Oooh, can't wait for the new journal entry....looking forward to it. And yay for retail therapy!!! 

@Junebug it worked!!!!!