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I haven't been trying as hard as I was. I think I am still scared. For instance yesterday I started noticing my fingers were looking more "normal" in my hands I can see bones and veins. Today I am wearing 3/4 length sleeves and I noticed I can see this really gross looking vein that runs along my wrist right along the nose of my fish tattoo. It's kind of really freaking me out. Being able to see your pulse and not just feel it. Ack.
But the pluses. I am officially a size 18. Holy wow. This weekend I went shopping EVERYTHING I TRIED ON FIT! I used to buy clothes because I have to-- NOTHING ELSE FITS--desperation. And this weekend I didnt buy anything but shoes because, I am still in that desperate mode for that department. But at least not as much as before. Oh and underwear because it was cuteness and my underwear is getting awfully baggy. TMI.
I then went home and looked at this dress online, that I tried on at AE that was a size 14 that I thought I could probably wear in the summer as a long kind of shirt probably.. I then found out that they sell up to size 18 online. So I got two sundresses at 20% off and a pair of jeans and a long cardigan to go over the dresses cause my arms are disturbing a little. I used to not care about these things when i was bigger. Now I am again. WHY? ack. Vicious circle welcome to the.
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