Jornal de WisteriaSky233, 23 mar 22

You’re in my prayers, I wish you the absolute best. Hopefully one day soon he’ll want the same, be strong 💙 

@Yelizzle Thank you. One of the girls from church told me the same thing many here have said; not nag but pray he'll see the light. And I'm trying not to bring it up, but the coughing just makes me have anxiety. And I wish he cared more enough about our future to want to be as healthy for as long as possible given the age difference. Then the girl said that God will take him when He sees fit and not to live in fear of cancer or death.  

A life lived in fear is dibilitating. Please try to live with a full heart, loving to the max every day. God's plan is in motion in all of our lives before we are born. Fears and worry only take the joy from the days that we are given. You and your husband are in my prayers. I pray that you will see the opportunity for love and happiness every day.  

I'm not sure why God brought this saga to my life again because in the past it was debilitating. Worse because my ex was a liar, dumped me and moved away. My husband isn't planning on leaving me but alas I fear he'll be dead within 10 years. @SLYONE 22 

its not that your hubby doesn't love you enough. this comes from a 35 year smoker who quit 4 years ago. if you've never smoked you have no idea how hard it is. my hubby held me on his lap while I cried for heavens sakes. PATHETIC! but in the moment it's crippling. place your trust in God, you go to church. truly truly believe. you have no control over the end of our lives. you could get hit by a bus and go tomorrow. and all your fears and worries would be for nothing. love your husband for who is is not what you wish him to be. and live every day to the fullest because you don't know when it will be your last. lavish in the love in your marriage and build on those good times. pray God helps him quit, but he won't quit when the time is right. there is only one perfect person and He lives in our 💕  

So I read your page a little after my post. It seems as though you are having a few troubles and I am so very sorry. You are also a church going gal as am I. Did you marry your hubby as a smoker or did he start after you were married? You know what proverbs says about being better to live on a rooftop than being around a naggy wife. And how a naggy wife is like a dripping faucet. Love him through it and stop trying to change him and maybethe tension will ease. In the mean time have him drink some mullein tea! It is EXCELLENT at healing thr lungs! In prayers for you!  

Perhaps you can send him to the doctor's to get a check up. Maybe the doctor would have some influence on him, and he may get a clean bill of health anyway which may put your mind at ease. 

Wisteriasky233- regardless of what your husband chooses to do about his health, you may benefit from some mental health help to help you deal with this obsessive anxiety. At the rate you are going it may be your mental state that contributes most to a poor marital outcome. all of these obsessive thoughts of your husband dying, crying and despairing new behaviors for you or have you had problems before this smoking thing came up. Either way, get help. You don’t need to live in constant fear either. 

I'm sorry you are having such anxiety. I agree with Kenna. The stress seems to really be taking a toll on you. Take care!💜 

To all the people complaining about me. I invite you to never comment on my crap again. I don't need you acting like a bitchy wife! That just makes me angry 😠 My husband lied that he wanted to quit and I have a right to be angry! You don't know how much we talked about this before we got married and I feel duped into being married to a guy with a moral flaw. We go to church and I don't see how he can think it is ok. But fine if you don't want me to talk I will just bottle it up too like everything else. Good damn day!!!! 

And to add, at this point I don't care if die first! Maybe I will get hit by thay bus. I contemplated walking into traffic a few weeks ago. If he doesn't care to live I don't. Whatever! 

And to add, at this point I don't care if die first! Maybe I will get hit by thay bus. I contemplated walking into traffic a few weeks ago. If he doesn't care to live I don't. Whatever! 

come to terms. its his life. nothing you can do . it's hard 

lol, it's no wonder he's smoking, your last responses make you seem completely nuts and difficult to live with. no more comments on your constant whiny posts 

than quit reading Oats_the_whey. I wish I could block your ass! get off my damn page! 

Chill Oats_the_whey...that wasn't cool... 

Hi wisteria, my dad promised my mom that he would quit smoking when they got married. That was 1973, and he didn’t permanently quit until 2016. I certainly understand being very upset over the issue, but obsessing over it like you are doing can only exacerbate the situation; that’s how it was with my dad. I mean this in a loving way when I say that I agree with Kenna and Diana that some mental health support would really benefit you. I pray you can find the will to live and enjoy life whether or not your hubby quits smoking immediately. It is a very strong addiction that is very hard to quit, not a moral flaw that can be easy to throw away overnight. Mental peace will help you either love your husband the way he is or decide he’s not the one, as appropriate. I hope you find some good support. ❤️ 

That is the thing I'm not sure that I can love him like this. And I feel he duped me into marrying him for quitting long enough to snag me. I'm very bitter about it. But I will quit posting here because it isn't helping my mental health either. I'll just pretend to be happy like I have been doing the last few weeks.  

Cindylynnwho gave some good feedback. Wishing you better days. 💕 

I understand not wanting to post because of stress over harsh comments wisteria. But I hope you won’t bottle your feelings and pretend to be happy. I am a mental health counselor and I am also someone who has experienced anxiety and other challenges. There’s no shame in hiring a nonjudgmental person to talk to who can help partially ease your anxiety and pain over your husband’s smoking, detach a bit from his choices, and help you decide if you want to continue with the marriage or not. As a counselor I still get counseling myself. Wishing you helpful support, happiness, and peace in your mind and your relationship. Good luck 🍀