Jornal de WisteriaSky233, 29 mar 22

I smoked. Quitting took 30 Years. 

I am sorry for your pain. Your situation is hard. Life won’t be easy if you stay, life won’t be easy if you leave. You have to choose your “hard”. But I believe which ever choice you make will be more peaceful if you pray, and if love him and yourself . I pray you will find peace. 

Why couldn't you let go for the sake of your anniversary and have some fun with him?? You are stressing and arguing over such trivial stuff that can we worked on, approaching this with so much drama negativity and judgmentalness is an energy, noone would want to be around. I don't blame him for checking out. 

Time for a change in your life. To short to chase someone who’s not going to want nothing from you 

You're not going to get the help and guidance you seek here. This is an app. for ppl who are looking to lose weight and gain muscle. Please talk to someone in real life who can help you. Your Church sounds like a great outlet. Wishing you the best.  

An anniversary is just that, a celebration of commitment and understanding. You've made your personal feelings known, but are you sure of how he feels? Why not revisit those wonderful feelings and compatible attributes you shared when you met? Why not go fishing with him and then he can share an activity that you love? I don't know the whole story, but from your post, maybe some give-and-take seems in order. 

Brigit0... 👍 Zackly, a weight app. But even churches have people w/negative impact (Firsthand experience w/that!) Wister, ... That 18mo pact sounds like you've already decided. Seen that before, even some that made pro/con lists.. They all bailed eventually. Just in denial so they could look like they tried while secretly preparing to leave. Buddy-o-mine wanted to make a secret account... Told him to take that weekly cash and have dates with his wife so if it blew out, he'd have a clean conscience ... It did, and he does. Church is good for both of you -together. Instead of big trips, spend small moments together.  

LooseButtons Yes, we go to church together and all that. It isn't that I want to leave him but the 18 months is a timeline I'm willing to try to adjust to this problem 

I can not be sure, of course, but it seems as though this is a power struggle. You know? Your way or his way; who will "win?" These situations don't empower you, though. Let's say he makes some uncomfortable consessions to make things "right?" Eventually, he'd resent being made to change... all this is, is an opportunity to decide who you are relative to this situation. 🤍 

I've been thru similar my husband and myself have now been together 18 yrs we have 2 children ages 16 and 13 the first 6 yrs we're great I knew when we got together he was a recovering drug addict but for 1st 6yrs he did great then one day I noticed something different about him I sat down with him and discussed what I thought I was seeing and he came completly clean about going back to useing we came to mutual agreement it wasn't something I would allow I had children to think about and it wasn't something he was ready to give up again at that time so we decided to take alittle break and let him decide which life it was he wanted he was gone for alittle over 3 weeks he kept in contact over phone daily with our children then almost a month in he came home and said he was signed up for inpatient rehab and he loved and missed us and was ready to change now 12 years later we are doing great moral of the story you can not change him he has to want to it is up to you if you have the patients to wait and see if he can and or will but you can not put a time limit on it it has to be on his time or he will regret it later