Jornal de cristinaxxs, 01 ago 23

I think this would be best if you stopped counting calories 

Easier said than done with an eating disorder. ..... Sweetpea, I'm sending you a private messge. 

Oh, Cristinna, my heart goes out to you. There are people out there who know how to help you with this. If you go to the ER, they will fast-track finding you the help you need.  

I agree with Supergainz. Just focus on trying to eat enough nutritious food. Don’t look at the calories. I’ve been where you are when I was a teenager. That guilty feeling is the worst. It’s all about control. Right now you need to make sure your getting enough variety and you don’t feel ill. Don’t let your guilt get to you and don’t let anyone else make you feel guilty. Stay hydrated, and remember you are beautiful and worthy of food, space, and energy. 

I used to have this issue in high school. I’m 45 now. I quit in my 20’s. My way was to work on my self esteem and building real lasting relationships with friends. Just focus on being healthy. Find someone you can talk to but not become overly dependent on. I know it’s hard but you’re the only you. You were put on this earth for a reason. The people who love you will still love you if you don’t look perfect. Perfection is a lie and it won’t last. We’re only here for a short time. Try your best to enjoy it and spreading joy and love when you can. Good luck to you. ❤️ 

Hang in there and get well ❤️‍🩹 soon!!! Seek out proper help so you can be successful 😘🤗 

Cristina ((((((((((((((((((💕💕Hugs💕💕)))))))))))))))))))))) I pray that you learn to love yourself the way that we love you, and we do love you. Strangers though we may be we are family in our struggle to be healthy. Our hearts break for the pain your are going through, it's very real and none of us look upon it lightly. You are a beautiful vibrant young girl and if you could see yourself through our eyes you would never doubt your self worth and beauty. Food is your body's friend. It is here to nourish you through life, growing up, starting a family of your own. You are worth overcoming this! You are worth eating for! You are worth loving! If I could tell my younger self one thing it would be: You are perfect exactly as you are right this minute. You don't need to lose any weight.  

I'm sad that you have to suffer so much. While you wait for your Mum to find help for you, perhaps you can research helplines to call & speak to someone who gets what you're going though, in your moments of need. 

This process is one step at a time, you got this! Don’t stress yourself over numbers. Start simple and work your way into it. Stay strong tho!!! 

There is so much good here in these comments, Cristina. You are so beautiful and loved, and I pray you are able to see that one day soon! I was anorexic for many years, so I understand some of what you're feeling. It is a day at a time thing. And the ER can definitely fast track getting you the help you desire. They have counselors, dietitians, and case workers to help you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and you deserve to eat to nourish and strengthen your body guilt free.  

Hey Cristina, I am an EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified, essentially a mix of anorexia and bulimia) in recovery and when I tell you that it has taken me decades to get over my habits. I am partly medicated for depression, anxiety, and ADHD, years of therapy, and fortunately having been in a relationship with someone who accepted me for who I am and not what I looked like making me more comfortable in my skin. More than most, I can tell you that the cycle of loving food and wanting to control it is hell, you are going through hell. Something that helped me is eating food that I knew for a fact would be dangerous or hurtful to vomit again, such as tomato sauce, salads, spicy food, etc. I also went on keto for a while, which honestly healed my relationship with food as I saw how even high fat, otherwise highly caloric foods helped me lose weight (however I am not on keto any more, as it is not meant to be on for long term and it did damage my health due to low protein). I recommend you make sure that you eat 'healthy', with the caveat that you have one meal a week that is your 'cheat meal'. I also don't count calories on the day that I have this cheat meal. I also highly recommend that you stop weighing yourself every week and do every 2-3 weeks instead as this also helped heal my relationship with food and the scale. Also you should know that extreme caloric restriction/starvation in the end will actually brutalize your metabolism, making it harder and harder for you to healthily lose weight and cause severe health issues down the road. This is something I am on medication for as well as years of being bulimic and overall disordered eating destroyed my body's ability to properly metabolize calories. Find your RDI calculation, and eat 20% less of that. You will naturally lose weight that way, and not starve yourself either.  

Also: allow yourself one managed treat a day. My favorite are ice cream pops, especially the Korean brand Melona ones as they taste like ice cream but are low calorie but still indulgent. Learning how to make healthier treats of things you'd feel guilty eating is also helpful, I really like the Skinnytaste blog in that regard.  

I’m so sorry to hear the pain you are going through, but am glad you’re sharing your struggles and asking the universe/strangers for help, support, and guidance. Don’t ever feel embarrassed to ask for anyone’s help. It’s important to not give up on yourself and trust you will find the right therapy to help you through. Kudos to your Mum. She sounds like an awesome person. I’m glad you have her love, understanding and guidance. Feel free to stay in touch and best of luck to you.