Jornal de Leah_guffey, 30 jan 24

We are going thru that right now. Im so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers for peace and healing to you and your family Leah. 

Thank you Yearofhealth, honestly it is out of the blue we never really expected it. Ryan's Uncle Dean was physically healthy but was dealing with a variety of mental health issues stemming from his drug addictions he was in drug rehab and his been doing quite well off and on but have had some slip ups in the last few years. But because of his choices over the years he lost custody of his two daughters (who were later adopted by the family who cared for them over the years). His daughters chose not to have contact and this year the eldest became 18 and when he reached out and asked to be part of her life she declined. He was found OD'd with a note explaining he was choosing not to live without them. Now I wish that he had only waited because she's so very young and with time she may have changed her mind he could have tried harder but he made his decision and he made a permanent decision to something that I believe could been a short-term problem. 

Suicide is always difficult. Unfortunately it sounds like he wanted to leave his family with a feeling of guilt over his death. When i was 14 my next door neighbor was going thru a divorce. He had 3 boys. One a year older than me one a year younger than me and one about 6. His wife had cheated on him with is business partner and he filed for divorce. After deciding the grass was not greener on the other side she tried to get him to take her back. He refused. One day she sent her 3 boys to the store, handed a letter to her husband and shot herself in front of him and died. Sad and tragic but doing that knowing her boys would come back to find paramedics working on her and read that letter (which yes, they shared with me and another friend) left a lifelong feeling of guilt and sadness. All 3 of her sons went on to commit suicide at various points in their lives. One shot himself, one hung himself and i can’t remember what the oldest did. They were all adults and 2 of them had families with children. Be sure someone gets therapy for his children so they can get a healthy grasp that this was his decision not theirs and that he had issues that had nothing to do with them. What my neighbors wife did was selfish and manipulative and im sorry to say that it sounds very similar without the drug addiction part. Im so sorry your family is going thru this. Please get his children therapy. 

No, I also felt sad for his daughters because they'll always that this decision was their fault and blame themselves for it and I really don't think that they should. Although I do think that they should have a relationship with their father I don't think that they should have had to be threatened or be put in such a position to feel threatened into doing so. It saddens me that now that they will never have that opportunity to grow closer to their father in addition to that he didn't want to fight harder to have a relationship with them. I understand that he was never able to overcome his drug addiction and that's what led the girls to their decision. But I really do feel if he kept trying and showed the girls his efforts that they would want to have some sort of relationship with him even if it wasn't as close he wanted to have with some more work.t It's a very confusing time for the family and I feel for all sides particularly for his daughters and for his father who recently lost his wife and now has lost his son as well. I also feel of course for my husband who is now lost his uncle who he loved dearly regardless of his decision to end his life. 

Leah its a nasty monster addiction. I think most everyone has loved or known someone who has been infected with that particular nastiness. You have to think of the mental health of the people who are affected by addict behavior. Sometimes relationships can be repaired. Often they cannot. It’s not fair to put that kind of responsibility on a child regardless of their age whether they be minors or 50 years old. Related by birth does not require a relationship when it is toxic to one. Speaking from experience both personally and tangentially. All that being said i hope there is grace and peace in your family during this time. You have a lot to cope with already. 

Leah: My heartfelt condolences on the loss of Ryan's uncle.  

Thank you Jam's I appreciate the condolences he's been dealing with it the best he can it's never easy to deal with loss and he really did love his uncle dearly. It's been awhile since I've heard from you I hope everything's been well on your end I do miss you and Rosie and the others from the other app dearly it's a pity that we weren't able to keep our group together.. 

Miss you too Leah! Cel, Cindy, & I are still keeping the ol' my plate connection going and also welcome anyone else interested to "connect" with us @ www.myhealthyplatelife.com