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21 julho 2016

Hello, FS!
Long time no see.
Just been busy with life.
I haven't really had any weight loss since January, and my weight has just been swinging in the 144-147 range depending on the day of the week. (I eat right 6 days per week and then splurge on Sundays, so my Monday weight is always quite a bit higher.) I don't log the daily fluctuations, 'cause I know that's my norm now. But I do log any new drop. So, earlier this weekend, and again today, my scale has dipped down into the 143 range, so it was worth noting. That has to be the lowest my weight has been since...oh...I don't know when. Maybe since my first pregnancy? Not sure.

I see my endocrinologist about once every 6 months. I'm waiting on my lab work to see how my thyroid and blood sugar are doing, but I was down 5 pounds from my previous doctor's appointment (probably due mostly to summer clothing vs. winter clothing), but my endo was pleased as punch. He said, "Whatever you're doing is working!"

Hope all is well w/ you FS folks.

Peso:	Perdidos até agora:	Ainda faltam:	Dieta cumprida:
65,1 kg	22,4 kg	3,9 kg	Razoavelmente Bem

(1 comentário) A Perder 0,0 kg por Semana

19 abril 2016

Wow. I had a "fell off the wagon" night last night! I went almost 500 calories over and above my daily limit. I was at about 500 calories *under* my goal after dinner last night, and I think that is what did me in. I had all this room for snacking (calorie-wise), and I just went crazy, and just couldn't stop. So, really, I *snacked* almost 1,000 calories (which is what put me at 500 over). Argh!!! I'll have to make it up the whole rest of the week by shaving off about 170 calories per day for the next 3 days just to get back to my on-target average.

What is it about Mondays?!?!

The good news about it is that I wrote it all down. And if I hadn't been holding myself accountable by writing it all down (like, say, how I would've been over a year ago), I would have kept right on eating. And...there wouldn't have been anything to stop me from eating whatever I wanted the next day for lunch, or for dinner, or for snacking....that used to be par for the course for me.

So, I owned it. Didn't put me in a good position for having some carryover calories going into my weekend, but at least I know that I can make the necessary adjustments and get right back on track. Immediately.

(2 comentários)

07 abril 2016

So, basically I have been "eating right" (with Sundays off) for about a year now, with a little hiatus between Easter and June/July last year, but consistently for about the last 9 months.

It is, pretty much, my way of life now, and I'm consistent/committed to it. It's a habit, I guess, but a habit that requires concerted effort. It's still not natural to me. It's not second nature to me. It's work. But I'm accustomed to it.

I'm grateful that I am *accustomed* to this process, because it is soooo abundantly clear to me how EASY it always was for me to overeat and stuff my feelings with food and how much I *still* want to handle stress by eating.

My work isn't stressing me out so much today, but my *husband's* work is stressing me out (because he is stressed), and, well, I have teenagers, so there's a stressor right there. So, I'm sitting here at my desk (at work), and all I can think about is how much *better* I would feel if I could order in some kind of decadent goodness to be delivered to the office and feast on gooey, cheesy, greasy, carby...SOMETHING (the options are endless). And how, a little over a year ago, I would have done that without thinking twice about it. And I would have easily consumed almost 2 days worth of calories in one sitting. And then, I probably would have helped myself to something from the vending machine later on in the day.

What's interesting to me is that intellectually (in one part of my brain), I know that another part of my brain (feeling) is LYING to me. How can a bready/cheesy/greasy philly-cheese steak sandwich and fries make my stress go away? IT WOULDN'T!!! But, the "voices" are still in there telling me that said sandwich or a pizza or a homestyle double-cheeseburger with cheesy-covered tator tots would make me feel so much better! LIES!!!

The one and only thing stopping me from placing the call to order any of these things is that 1.) I'm being consistent about logging and writing down EVERYTHING I eat Monday - Saturday. 2.) I already have a pretty good idea, calorie-wise, that ALL of these things are off-limits if I don't want to exceed my limit for the day. So. I'll refrain. I will eat the sensible chicken and veggies I brought for lunch today. (I guess that's #3--being prepared.) I will NOT order anything from Wes's BBQ. Or from Jim's Razorback Pizza. Or from MoJo's or Green Submarine Gourmet Sandwiches.

I just have to wag my finger at that "feelings" side of my brain and say, "I know you *think* that eating all of that will make you feel much better, but you know it isn't true. FEEL THE FEEL and then DEAL with it...some other way." All that eating/stuffing did for you before was just to make you feel realllllly good for about 10 minutes, and then you felt guilty, crappy, disgusting, bloated, fat, tired, miserable, worse than before AND STILL STRESSED!!!

How can my intellectual-know-what-is-good-for-me self and this irrational-give-me-what-I-want-and-I-will-lie-to-myself-to-get-it self co-exist in the same brain?!?

What I NEED is to pray for/about my husband's job and my soon-to-be-grown teenagers and "let go" and "let God." And...keep logging my food, making healthy choices, and then march this folder of my old favorite restaurants-that-deliver menus over to the office shredder.

(10 comentários)

02 abril 2016

Peso:	Perdidos até agora:	Ainda faltam:	Dieta cumprida:
65,6 kg	22,0 kg	4,4 kg	Razoavelmente Bem

Adicionar Comentário A Perder 0,0 kg por Semana

23 março 2016

So, basically what I've been doing is calorie restriction contained to 6 days per week with Sundays off. It's what works for me, and that's what's key, right? I'm faithful, 6 days a week, to record/log every bite that goes into my mouth and to stay within my allotted calorie range. My flexibility comes from the fact that I allow myself to *average* my daily allotment over those 6 days. As long as my total calories Monday - Saturday do not exceed 8400 (1400 per day, but I've lowered this during Lent to a total of 7500--avg of 1250 per day), I'm in compliance.

As I said, this is working for me. I really do think that I'm a food addict/lover extreme, so having a very strict framework is important to my long-term, rest-of-my-life health. BUT...

I sooooooo *miss* spontaneously enjoying food. I soooooo *miss* using food to pick me up in the middle of the day. I sooooo *miss* not being able to use food as a reward to myself. I sooooooo *miss* lots of foods that I just don't eat any more, because they just don't FIT with my calorie allotment.

Even though Sundays are my days to indulge, it's just very apparent to me how much I miss using food as a daily companion, a comforter, a recreation, a "high." This was on my mind a lot last night. Probably because late-night snacking always used to be my biggest downfall when it came to eating habits. And also, because I'm probably hormonal right now--which makes me want to eat even more.

It would help if I could find something that would even come *close* to replacing how I felt about food. (And I'm not talking about the celery, cucumber & carrot kind of food.) And, no..."taking a bath" or "going for a run" isn't going to cut it. Oh....if only a stick of sugar-free gum would give me the same amount of pleasure that, say, something bready, cheesy, buttery, greasy, salty, or sweet used to give me.

I know I can't go back to that way of life/eating...There's no way I would want to change my 145 lb self back to my eat-whatever-I-want 215 lb-and-gaining self. But it doesn't mean that I don't miss that kind of food and uninhibited enjoyment of it.

Thank you for the therapy session.

(16 comentários)

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