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17 março 2014
So far the diet is going well. I started to exercise as well to help shed the (very) unwanted pounds. I've got to say though, riding a stationary bike is so bloody boring, even when I am watching a movie while doing it...it's just not the same as going outside. I'd go outside if it weren't for those damned wind gusts that up to 45 mph! Hey 45 mph...maybe it can blow away the fat since that is what I need to shed! If only, if only. Curse you wind!
You see, what I like about outdoor riding is not only the fresh air, and scenery (and the feeling of being productive), but it's the thought. If you stop...then you're stranded, so you have to keep going. A stationary bike you can get off anytime you want and fall onto the floor. It doesn't matter. You're home.
I miss my hills and scenery...oh those bloody damn mile-high hills. Oh, how I long for thee.
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15 março 2014
Today was my brother's 23rd birthday party- we went to cracker barrel. It is hard to find all of the types of food on this site, but I can find things close to it. Red Lobster is similar- maybe a few less calories, but I made up for it with too much calories on another item, so it all balances out.
I weighed myself today- before I ate of course. I am so happy! I dropped from 189 to
185!
I'm so happy, oh so happy, happy , witty, and wise!- I know that's not how it goes. But I'm feeling joyful at the moment. Hopefully by next week I'll weight 183- I'm not hoping for too much. I don't want to be expecting to lose like 4-5 pounds a week. To me that is an unhealthy amount of weight to lose in such a short time.
If I do get to 183, or possibly (but not likely) 182-181, it will be the lightest I've weighed in...years. It will be a big accomplishment for me. I can't help but feel a tad excited and nervous. This shows me that I can do it, and no one can tell me that I can't. I can do this, and I will do this just like everyone else here.
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12 março 2014
Okay, so day five of my damned diet- the blasted f**king thing! I want the brownies in the kitchen, okay? I just want them. My stomach feels like a pit of bubbling acid, and I just want to eat brownies. I will hold strong though! As everyone else should. I let myself go just a bit today. I indulged in a chicken Cesar wrap with a
lovely
coat of ranch dressing. When I say "coat" I mean coated! Yeah, that was a naughty thing I did, but it was so tasty. On the other hand I haven't eaten since then....I guess I'm making up for the
699.75
calorie wrap- calories from Ranch dressing included.
I'm eager to see the scale and read what it says Saturday. I want to see if my
starving
is actually working. Of course it is known that if you burn more than you take in- you will lose weight. The thing is I really don't know how much I lose a day by just being alive. I need to start riding my dads inside bicycle...joyous. Just so fun to ride inside...weeeeh.
It's the most boring thing I have ever done, and I've done some boring stuff in my time. Like I watched a 10 minute youtube video of a guy getting beaten to death by a spoon. It was honestly one of the worst things I've ever done, really, and yet riding a stationary bike is worse.
Anyway, when I was at my grandmothers I did amazingly well. I ate a six inch whole wheat subway sandwich (sweet chicken something, it was weird) and a back of baked chips, along with a fun size sneakers. I think it was rather good considering when I go over there I'm usually munching on everything.
Oh grandma and grandpa why must you keep offering me food- it is so hard to deny!
Well I'll see them tomorrow so they can do it again...oh dear. I did tell them I was on a diet, but is like that went in one ear and out the other.
"You want a cookie hon?" "you want a cookie?" "Want a cookie!”
“No! I do not want the damn cookie! Stop torturing me with a cookie."
Needless to say that is going to sum up my day tomorrow!
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12 março 2014
Day four of my new found diet, and I am becoming obsessed with counting calories. I don't want to
starve
, but I do want to lose weight, so over the past three days I've consumed 2645.52 calories in total. I am keeping a log of what I eat- and drink if it is calorie based- and I'm making future plans. I don't expect to lose a massive amount of weight, but maybe 2 pounds a week- hopefully. I feel good so far. I am also taking dietary pills.
I am taking the Green Coffee Bean as well as the Garcinia Cambogia pills- 30 minutes before every snack and or meal. I have near to no faith in them, but what the hell, it is worth a shot. Though I'm sure the weight loss will be due to the lack of eating , or the pills. To show one of my meals- because I feel a strange sense of pride when looking at it. I guess it is because of the time I put into looking everything up and putting it in a nice format on my computer- as an example, here it is.
Ritz Crackers [10]
160
Calories
Vanilla Caramel [1]
25.
5Calories
Vitamins [4]
25
Calories
Talapia and Rice Dinner [1]
421.2
Calories
Monster Drink [1]
20
Calories
Trenta Cool Lime [1]
200
Calories
That in total my friends is a whopping 851.7 calorie intake for one day. Again, I'm not trying to starve myself...really I'm not. It is just so easy to stack on the fatty calories. I don't move much! So the weight is harder to get off- it's too damn cold outside to do anything, and it is too much of a drive to just go to the gym. A waste of gas! Do you see those gas prices? Forget that! I don't even want to hang out with friends because of the intimidating gas prices. "Beware, we're going Up!" Noooo!
Needless to say it is not worth going to the gym (that is 13 miles away) to work out for an hour. I looked up the calorie intake on a woman if she wants to lose weight, which I obviously do. It said I should keep within a 1,200- 1,450 calorie intake per day- for my height, weight, age, and gender- so on and so forth. Many sites have the same estimate.
I think I'm doing just a smashing job on it. Though I feel like a dog when I see something I really want. I'll just look at it and give a sad sigh- near to being a whine, and giving it the big glossy eyes of need. I swear if people were to see me they'd laugh! They'd see my bottom lip jutted out in a pout, eyes big and glossy- sad, oh so very sad, and a depression cloud hanging over me. A clear sign saying, "But I want it!" and then being told, "No!"
I currently weigh 189 pounds- or that is what the scale said the last time I hopped on it. I have decided that I'm only going to weigh myself once a week- on Saturday. I don't want to become obsessed with checking my weight. I guess I don't want to become discouraged either if I see it is the same or has gone up. I'm really trying here, really! I want to lose 49 pounds by September 24th (my birthday), but it's just so hard. I really want to stand on the scale and see if anything has happened. Technically I've been on the dietary magical pills for eight days now.
I'm just itching to look, but I won't. It'd be so easy though...NO! No, no, no. I need to stop thinking about it so I won't be tempted by that...that thing that sits in the bathroom. It is watching me when I go in there. It is begging me to stand on it so it can flash its brilliant blue light at me showing me my either failure, or success! Oh curse that scale! It is taunting me is it not? No? Rats! I'm going insane. I hope I've lost at least 2 pounds. I do, I do.
Well here is what is planned for today. Meals that is. I'm going to my grandmothers...and as everyone knows, it is impossible to stop eating when you go to a place like that. So warm and filled with the scent of food- hell there is food everywhere! And grandma is all like "Eat whatever you want dear." or "Eat as much as you want sweetie. No one will stop you." Oh please, please grandma do not say that. Stop tempting me! Please! I beg of you...stop.
Vitamins [4]
25
Calories
Fiber One Bar [1]
90
Calories
Subway Sandwich [6in]
480
Calories
Of what I know at the moment. I want to leave room for grandmas- to my understanding I'm eating the subway over there, so hopefully that will be all I eat! Which comes out to a wonderful 595 calories! I think I'm dipping too low in the calorie count...ah fuck it. If I'm hungry later I will munch on something that doesn't make me cringe when I look at the package. Oh Tortino's pizza, why did you have to have so many calories, why? Diets are so not people friendly. I guess that is why the first three letters tell you to die, and the T stands for the cross, heh. Oh I'm just so funny. Stick with me to day five! Even though technically it is only day four and 4 in the morning. Oie.
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