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I'm baaaaaack... after an amazing, enlightening, empowering, transforming retreat! It was such a wonderful experience, better than I could have ever imagined, the last day maybe being the most powerful. As we finished up the retreat, we recapped what we learned, spoke about the new, big life we wanted to begin to build when we got home, wrote a goodbye letter to our binging & old disordered eating life (very emotional again) and wrote a note which will be mailed to each of us in 30-60 days checking in on our new selves with encouragement & reminders. I truly wish each of you could have been there & can do something similar for yourselves sometime soon. It truly taught me to look at myself, my life & how I live it, in a new way. And, just like here on FS, I met some amazing woman, many with stories very similar to mine or with threads of similarity. They, like us, came in all shapes & sizes, from all around the world (as far as the U.K. & Hawaii), and were of all ages, religions and backgrounds, but were accepting, understanding & supportive -- like all of you, but an IRL community condensed into 5 days. It was also so inspiring to see the transformations from the anxious & fearful group we started out as to the renewed, refreshed, optimistic group we became before we said goodbye.
As a group, we will be going through the retreat materials, chapter by chapter, starting next week sometime. I'll share more then, in a more organized way, for anyone interested in hearing more. It'll be a great way for me to reinforce it to myself, as I already know I'm forgetting some! The retreat was based on a new book to be released soon by Michelle May. She wrote the book you've heard Bella & me talk so much about called "Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat" (EWYL). Her new book coming out, EWYL for binge eaters, was co-written with Kari Anderson, a licensed counselor. Michelle & Kari were our retreat leaders & were both wonderful speakers, teachers, motivators & supporters. You can also check out the website, amihungry.com, for more info. "Am I Hungry" is the central theme of mindful eating. The EWYL approach has us think through an eating cycle each time we eat -- why, when (where we ask, are we hungry?), what, how, how much & where. A crucial moment in the cycle is asking if I'm hungry (for me, taking that pause is the key) & if i"m not, then figuring out what is causing me to want to eat anyway. At that point, we have the option (as Michelle says, we are in charge, not trying to control) to either eat anyway, redirect our attention or meet our true needs. For me, as an emotional eater, figuring out my emotions & unfulfilled needs is an area I need to work on as that is what's causing me to want to eat when I'm not truly hungry.
Stay tuned for more info as I continue building my mindful eating & living road, one small brick or pebble at a time, but before I begin my day (luckily it's low-key with tennis later this morning then free time to catch up on laundry, house work & paper work -- its amazing what builds up after only even 5 days away!), I'll pray --
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
And for this one day, and each one meal, moment, bite & emotion throughout the building of my mindful road one building block at a time, I'll pray, breathe, journal, feel & express my way. I am more grateful than ever today for each of you!. The retreat reinforced how important support is on our journeys. Since I've been secretive about my eating issues, you have been my only outlet & source of support -- and in that role for me, you have been beyond amazing! Opening up to each of you started the process for me of feeling able to open up to others & to go on this retreat. I'm truly hoping to continue the opening or peeling back the layers as we spoke of at the retreat. The visual she used, which I'll always remember, was that of peeling the petals of a rose. I'm hoping eventually to open up enough to allow some IRL friends & family in. I'm also grateful today for what feels like a new beginning after what was an amazing retreat experience, my IRL family & friends, and as always, having the health & wealth to live this life I love in a renewed, rejuvenated way! xoxox
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