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Good morning, loves. I am feeling weighed down with stress lately, can't seem to shake it.
My brother's ex girlfriend, who I was very close with for years, was in a very bad car accident two weeks ago. Best case scenario she wakes up from her coma and has to relearn absolutely everything, but she isn't even out of the woods yet. There is a very real possibility she won't wake. This is devastating. She is only twenty-four. She was there for the birth of my son, my wedding, a huge part of my children's lives. I always wished her and my brother would have been able to work out because she was the kind of person I wanted for a SIL. I tell my husband often that I miss her. So much potential, she was so very smart, and would have made an amazing mother. I was worried how my brother would react. With the 'issues' he has, I was afraid he would act callously, or say things he might regret. He surprised me when he told me that he visited her grandparents (who raised her), and took all of her belongings from the place she was staying with friends back to her grandparents for them. Every now and again you see a flash of the man I know my brother is, and that can be just as painful as the person he has become. All of it is painful anymore.
Last night I came home from work with a little shortness in the attitude department. I work from the minute I wake until the minute my head hits the pillow, factor in the stressors and I'm not always sunshine to be around. Well I must have said something to my husband with the wrong tone or inflection because all of a sudden he was ignoring me. Alas, silence for me all evening. Then I get irate, because I'm not a child what is with the silent treatment?? Jesus freakin Christ, all I do is work work work and now you're mad at me for being a little short?? UGH! I wish I could have gotten off work at 2:30 and sat on my ass all evening waiting for the wife to bring me dinner. It's frustrating.
I don't mean to complain, I don't have it bad and my husband IS a GOOD GUY, but it really is overwhelming and obviously ya'll are the only ones I have to talk to right now. My husband and I almost never fight, but nobody is perfect all the time. I was unpleasant and it was no fault of his, I just wish I could get a little empathy. It just makes it worse when I'm carrying all of this stress and sadness and now you're going to spend the evening ignoring me. Childish.
If you're still reading, I will resume my regularly scheduled journal now.
I didn't get to the weights yesterday, I spent the first part of my day spring cleaning windows/walls etc. After lunch I took my son to the park. I parked on the far side so we could walk to and from the park, totaling 1.6miles. Not too shabby. Picked up my daughter from school, took the kids with me to 'work' since I was scheduled to be with my sister yesterday evening. Not supposed to do that, but I make my own rules. My brother was there, thus setting off the unfortunate series of events that was my evening.
I'm having stress eating cravings, and ate more than I planned last night. Maybe because food was the only friend I had...Not nearly enough to even get close to maintenance, but not what I wanted. I also ate like over forty grams of fiber, paying for that this morning. Dangerous stuff lol.
Friend was going to make her big debut back at the gym this morning, until she came up with an excuse lol. I guess I'm on my own, again... or still. I plan on going this morning after I drop my son off at preschool. The scale hasn't budged for me this week, but I'm doing everything right so I know eventually it will.
I'll feel better after a good beating anyway. I hope this journal didn't bring anyone down. I'm only human :-) Better days ahead
Have a great day!!
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1320 kcal
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Líp: 68,44g | Prot: 88,58g | Carbs : 95,77g.
Pequeno Almoço: Great Value Vanilla Caramel Coffee Creamer, Bertolli Olive Oil, La Tortilla Factory Whole Wheat Low Carb & Low Fat Tortillas, Sargento Fancy Shredded Colby-Jack Cheese, Egg White, Egg, Coffee-Mate Original Powder Creamer. Almoço: Kraft Sweet & Spicy Chipotle Barbecue Sauce, Turkey Stuffing, Kroger Pork Steak. Jantar: Great Value Breaded Chicken Patties. Snacks/Outros: EAS Lean 15 Protein Powder - Chocolate Fudge, Dannon Light & Fit Yogurt - Strawberry (Container), Strawberries. mais...
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 Comentários
so sorry to hear about your friend. will send prayers and positive thoughts out to both of you.
spouse-wise, i had a similar situation last night. i just owned up to my wife that i had been an ass and apologized. communication and admitting our own failures goes a long way towards making a good marriage.
as to the rest, i get the sense that you're strong enough to do what you know you need to do. hang in there and keep the faith, you're doing great.
02 abr 14 por membro: timconard
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Thoughts and prayers coming your way for YOU and your friend! (((HUGS)))
02 abr 14 por membro: millerm40
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can relate to those stooooopid little passive aggressive games played between my husband and myself, if I'm grumpy in the evening (usually struggling with binge eating impulses at this time) and I answer him with less than whatever he considers to be enough interest, fascination?? whatever... he gets up, slams his way back to bed, slams the door, and that's it. very sorry to hear about your friend/brother's ex, hope for recovery, she sounds like a beautiful person
02 abr 14 por membro: momzonroof
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Hey kiddo, keep your chin up. Yes we men are stooopid sometimes, well OK lots of the time. maybe he is stressed to but shows it in a different way. Sometimes I get the silent treatment from my wife, and sometimes that's not a bad thing LOL she thinks she is punishing me, tsk tsk, but other times it is infuriating, and yes childish and generally leads to a good row, we both blow up, let out our frustrations, yell at each other, then the best bit - make up sex :) Im not trying to make light of your stress, whats happened to your friend is dreadful, sadly no matter how much you stress though, there isn't a damn thing you can do about it, and that too is frustrating. Lot of people love your posts, respect and admire you for the woman you are, how hard you work, and your weight loss journey - just so you know ok?
02 abr 14 por membro: Kingstephen
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Been there. Hang in there. I will be praying for you, this young woman and your family.
02 abr 14 por membro: tunalw
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02 abr 14 por membro: ClassicRocker
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I am so sorry for all of the stress you are under, and for what is happening in your life right now. I wish all the best for your friend in the hospital. Today will be a much better day than yesterday, and for your friend not going to the gym, well you can only take care of yourself and that is what you are doing. I am very proud of you for not giving in and saying screw it. Keep up the fantastic work you are doing, and try and take a few minutes out of the day just for you to unwind some.
02 abr 14 por membro: SherrieC
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You are a strong woman and you have been through a lot already, at some point you just can't take any more. So sorry about your friend, that has to be hard, and seeing your brother on top of it and having all of those emotions come back is rough. My hubby and I have had those moments too, but we get over it and move on. The good days outnumber the bad, and in the end he has your back. I'm usually the one who gives the silent treatment because I never learned how to talk about issues growing up, my parents were silent and weren't open about talking about issues or emotions, so it's hard for me to work through them with someone else, maybe your hubby is similar to me. I'm not trying to take sides, I just want you to know that just because he's being silent doesn't mean he loves you less or anything, but maybe he's working things out in his head, like "man she does work hard, maybe I need to pick up some slack." I hope today is a better day and you get yourself to they gym, kick your butt, cry, laugh, do whatever it takes to get some of that stress out. I'm sending you some virtual (((hugs))) today. :)
02 abr 14 por membro: mars2kids
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I am sorry Yolanda for all the stresses that you are experiencing. I'll pray for your friend. As for the usual let down by the work out buddy...well "you can lead a horse..." The only advice I would be even willing to give about the hubby and the silent treatment is an apology for being "short". Maybe that will crack the ice but yes you are entitled to not always be a bubbly cheery person. Nobody is always that way. I hope today will be a better day for you.
02 abr 14 por membro: LadyBea40
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If you are finding that the stress is causing stress-related overeating (sounds like maybe?), you may want to look into 5-HTP. It is a supplement that helps your body handle the stress and reduces stress-related eating. I used that and St John's Wort (another supplement, but this one can interfere with birth control) to help me when my stress levels were too high and it was actually causing poor reflections on me at work (I actually got spoken to about it, several times). I also used them to help me through when I quit smoking. They have been such a huge help for me. And at work, my problems are just now a thing of the past of which we no longer speak of.
02 abr 14 por membro: caralyn
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None of this removes the woes, unfortunately, but sometimes a little help in healthy coping doesn't hurt.
02 abr 14 por membro: caralyn
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Yolanda, I really hope you get some YOU time today. You deserve it. Let your thoughts out without apology this in a non judgment zone that is full of support. So this is a great place to share any of your feelings good and not so great ones. I’m sending positive thoughts your way to you, your family and friend. And talk with your hubby it sounds like you guys have a great relationship just maybe open up with communicating a little more, especially during trying times.
02 abr 14 por membro: ChicaLean
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Yes, sometimes this partnerships take a misstep. Unfortunately, those of us with food issues tend to internalize whatever is going on a neutralize with food. You're right, Yolanda, better days ahead! We take one day at a time with the expectation that I will do things differently today and today will yield different results. PS Sometimes I wish I had a 'wife' too! My husband is a great guy (even does laundry). But sometimes when I'm dead tired and struggling to fix a healthy meal and fixing 5 plates, I'm just, "whew..." We all get there and this too shall pass.
02 abr 14 por membro: LuC2
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Try having your hubby as one of your buddies on here?! Then you can't vent without him being able to see it... I am convinced that guys have a TOM also...just not the same results. Apologize for being short....then have great make up sex...best part about having a tiff!!! And great exercise! Sorry about your friend. That is hard to deal with. Yesterday my daughter found out that a friend (he gave her a kiss in first grade-and got caught by the teacher) was involved in a bad accident. This morning I see he has come out of his coma and even with broken neck and spine he is able to move arms and legs...DON'T GIVE up HOPE!!!
02 abr 14 por membro: kmunson
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Ugh, Yo. So sorry to hear about everything going on for you personally. It is no wonder you're stressed to the brink. DH should realize that, but you have to forgive him a bit. We men just aren't very good communicators, generally speaking -- childish silence is about all we have in our toolbox to show our emotions. Sorry to say. I hope your friend has an amazing recovery. She sounds like a great person, and the world could use a few more of those. My thoughts are with you.
02 abr 14 por membro: Rob.c.weiss
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Even the "good guys" can be douchey idiots on occasion. :)
02 abr 14 por membro: notjune1
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I'll hold thoughts of hope and recovery for your friend for her complete recovery. Such situations do take their toll. You seem to have great strength and determination as you keep doing what is necessary despite all of the demands upon your time and emotional resources. It is my hope that new supports and good friends can be made at the gym where you go. Sometimes it takes seeing the same people over time to awaken friendship and camaraderie. Best of luck for more peaceful days. J
02 abr 14 por membro: JovialJ
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Prayers for your friend and especially for you. Married life - just another day. Apologize for being short and explain you're just plain worn out from the demands and ask for suggestions to get a little more 'you time'. He'll think he was a part of it and will be reminded you are a human being woman and need a little tenderness.
02 abr 14 por membro: FullaBella
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Don't apologise here for ranting. You obviously need it and we're part of your support network :-)
Husbands can be a pain in the arse but they can have bad times too. He was probably over reacting to something you carelessly said so the two things together blew up rather than being ignored and dealt with sensibly.
I just don't know what to say about your friend. It's a heartbreaking situation and I hope she pulls through.
Take care, Yolanda. You're an inspiration to us all
03 abr 14 por membro: Phooka
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