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6 months down, 6 months to go...until the end of 2009!!!
Time for a little self-reflection. Analysis. Critique. Hard-truths.
I've now been doing this body transformation thing now for 1.6 years, and yes, I did lose 38 pounds or so, got rid of 13 bags of old clothes, and very visibly noticed by people as having lost significant weight. So that's all good. However, the worrisome part is that, I am amazed that I lost weight, given that my efforts have been so up and down, and crucially, the inner me is still the same, unchanged, and easily volatile and vulnerable to the same triggers that got me in the obese range in the first place: stress, deadlines, temptations, vending machines, poor planning, daily changes, no consistency, hate exercie, negative self-talk, self-sabotage, lacking a consistent, even-keeled habit where it comes to diet and exercise--somehow these always seem to be subject to the whims of whatever else that is goign on outside of me, and hence the inner turbulence it wreaks and then causes my well-oiled cart to topple over AGAIN!!! In other words, I am still an emotional eater. That is the bad news. That is one thing that hasn't changed. And that is truly what needs to be worked on going forward now.
The good news: It's not like I haven't learned anything or changed at all!! I have indeed gone through lots of transformations. For one, while I still look for reasons to elude working out, once I start, I don't DREAD it or FEAR it like I used to. I HAVE strived to make newer goals and take on newer challenges than before. I AM seeing successes in that area...and my body is indeed getting stronger. For foods, while I do cave here and there, I am indeed able to get back around faster, and with more earnest effort than before. I haven't thrown down the towel completely even once through this year and a half. I HAVE learned lots of things about good nutrition. I HAVE learned lots of things about running, cardio, and strength training. So, yeah, I now AM a different person than who I was 2 years ago. Even though it doesn't dramatically feel different--inside or outside....but it's more like a subtle toning, chiselling if you will...it's all good! :)
Going forward, the next 6 months, I want to lose another 20 pounds or so. But more importantly, I want to practice the following:
1) good eating choices at all times...maybe 1 meal can be bad on occasion, but the rest of the day HAS TO BE REDEEMED, not just LET GO!!
2) The times I am vulnerable, I need to especially then avoide food-therapy---be really, really vigilant of it, like alcoholics have to do with alcohol...even one drink when you're down can undo you completely!! That's the mindset I have to bring to this emotional-eating business.
3) DAILY EXERCISE of some kind. No matter what. Cardio 30 mins at least. NON NEGOTIABLE.
That's it. I am not going to make a grand big list. I do know everythign else i have to do. The above are the most fundamental things to take care of--everythign else will follow and take care of itself!
Quick note about today:
Personal training: Lower body
squats with bar + 5 pds: 5 sets
lunges front and back: 3 sets each
quad machine: 3 sets each
calves machine: 3 sets each
abs machine: 3 sets each
burpees: 15 x 3 sets
leg throwdown: 3 sets each of 10 reps
Food: started well, ended terribly!
preworkout smoothie: strawberries, banana, soy milk, ff yogurt, 1 scoop protein mix (8 pts!)
post workout: coffee with cream (3 pts)
salad with ff dressign (1?), cheese (1-2 pts), croutons (1-2 points)
vending machine!!! (yikes!): vanilla coffee (?), and 1 nature valley bar (??)
vending machine again!! : cheetos 1 bag and ruffles 1 bag
at home: finished remaining asian trail mix from yesterday, some more smoothie, air popcorn, and 1 kiwi
Points: SCORES OF THEM!!! That's the last of THAT party!!!
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