I am a 40 year old, single mom living in Canada. I want to be healthy and free.

I've been struggling with my weight for most of my life, but looking back I was reasonably healthy until my 20's - then the crap hit the fan. I have accomplished some major goals in the last year and had anticipated that I would lose some weight as a result - not the case! Something in my makeup challenges me to overeat healthy and unhealthy foods. It usually wins.

Because I have a 100+ extra lbs, my body is having a harder time supporting itself. My joints and muscles are constantly sore, and I am tired all the time. I HATE exercise and glare at my doctor when she talks about getting more active.

I am searching for something again. Something to relieve the 'chatter' in my brain and the desire to constantly overeat. If some of the reasons I overeat are fear-based, then I want to face them. God help me, I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life.

I have had brief reprieves when I have avoided 'white' foods (white flour, white rice, potatoes, sugar, etc). Life seems to be a little saner, but then the 'chatter' starts again and I am back in my compulsions.

For today, I am willing to journal my food to be mindful of what I am eating. Who knows if I will actually move more or seek additional support from others or if I will even be journaling tomorrow. Maybe I can ask to be willing to do those things as well.

If you are reading this and relate to any of it, then I am not alone and please know that you are not alone either.

~ befree ~
~ Jul 21 11 ~